The Dark Lords Half Show
by Master Darth Warious - Lady of Chaos
Summary: I wasn't getting people to review this on my other site so I'm posting it here.
1. Show One

Darth Maul: What you are about to witness are the half shows that were previously only viewable on Middle-earth Insanity…but no one has reviewed me so there fore I'm posting it here in hopes I will get reviews!

Dark Lords Half Show

By Darth Maul

Darth Maul is in a house and holding a video camera pointed at his face.

"This is the first shadow feed of Dark Lords revenge. This show will be broadcast without the knowledge of Darth Warious. We of the Dark Lord cast have decided on a little payback for what she put us though. Today I have been selected to spy on Darth Warious in her living space. Right now it is ten in the morning and we have just finished our meditation for the day. Let's go see what she is doing now."

Maul points the video camera out away from him and enters the living room.

The camera views Haldir.

"Maul, what are you doing with that video camera?" the elf asks.

"Um…I'm running a documentary on my life in the United States."

"Oh…Okay. Have fun then."

Maul turns the camera to him.

"That was close. Let's follow the camera elf of Dark Lords. His name is Haldir. You may have heard Warious yelling at him a few times on the show. You wouldn't know it but those two are nauseating together. Let's follow him."

The camera follows Haldir out side and into the woods.

"We are looking at trees…what does he do out here anyway?" Maul speaks quietly to the camera.

A few more minutes of footage and following Warious steps out from behind a tree as Haldir takes her hand in his. The elf bends down and says something to Darth Warious. Warious starts to turn red and they move further into the woods.

"Well, well, well, I wonder where those two are going. Let's go find out. I promise anything beyond PG-13 will be cut out."

Maul stalks his two victims when a flying ball of fur blocks the view of the camera. The camera is dropped and you can see Darth Maul being attacked by his apprentice Luka Siz the Ewok. "Get off me you fool! I'm doing something important here!"

"But Master Maul, you said you would teach me how to use a lightsaber to day!" The Ewok complains.

"How about I teach you that later? Right now I'll teach you how to use a video camera."

"Okay!"

"Good."

The camera is picked up and given to Luka Siz. "Just point it at what you want to record. Your first task is to watch Warious. Now go!"

The camera sees more foliage and then Luka comes up on Darth Warious and Haldir smooching.

The camera goes black then you see Darth Maul's face again.

"There is much of that kind of footage and most was deleted from the film. I see them doing that everyday and now I know where they go when Darth Warious isn't working. Here we are at three in the afternoon. I had to give Luka his lesson or he would tell Warious about what I was doing. Now Darth Warious is in the living room (the den for you other people) watching Lost in Space (which she does not own except as a video). Oh look her elven love slave is sitting next to her. Disgusting. While they are occupied lets show you Warious' room!"

Camera fades to black. When the picture comes back there is a messy room with blackened walls and multi colored fuzzy posters all over the wall. "For all of you who have read Two Sith Lords and an Elf you now get to see Darth Warious' room. You lucky obsessive fans you. Darth Warious has a fantasy fuzzy poster obsession as you can tell from all the unicorns and dragons that cover this wall. They are very brightly colored but clashing (she colored them herself). I realize this is a serious problem as Darth Warious is a Sith Lady and should not have fuzzy things in her room. But then again, she does live with an elf. I believe him to be a bad influence on her. And what's this?"

Darth Maul zooms in on a piece of folded paper. You see his hand reach in front of the camera and pick it up. From behind the camera you can hear him saying 'Hmmm.'

"This I will save for the next episode. Oh this is good blackmail. I have to show my master this. You people will have to wait. That's all for today people. I'll see you in the next episode."

o.o.o.o.o.

Darth Maul: Review me.


	2. Show Two

Dark Lords Half Show 2

By Darth Maul

"We are here behind the studio of Dark Lords. As you know from our last episode Master Warious challenged Master Sidious to a Force lightning duel. This is not entirely unheard of in Sith history. It was a common way to decide things between masters.

Here they are the duel is about to start."

The camera goes to the two Sith Masters. Warious speaks.

"Remember Sidious; if I win you stop spying on my brother and me."

"And If I win," Sidious continued, "I still get to observe your activities."

"Draw and you leave just me alone." Warious continued.

"Very well my old apprentice, but I shall not lose."

The camera turns back to Maul. "The other Dark Lords are arriving to observe. Darth Vader is over-seeing the duel and acting as judge. I'm holding camera (obviously) in case the outcome is disputed which I hope it will not."

Another voice is heard on camera. "Sidious seems to be a meddling old fool."

Camera turns and adjusts the viewer to see Lucius Malfoy.

Maul's voice is heard. "How did you get back here?"

"The Dark Lord gave me something called a backstage pass that's why."

Camera fixes on Voldemort near-by. "Well?" Darth Maul demands.

"I wanted extra security. The two Jedi she hired for studio security don't like me."

Camera turns back to the two Sith Masters preparing to duel.

"Quiet every one," Maul's voice is heard, "they're going to fight."

Vader is in between and a-ways back from the two Masters and speaks. "Er…What am I supposed to say?"

There is a collective laugh from the crowd around the two combatants and Vader.

"Just say 'go', Vader, nothing overly formal about this." Maul says from behind the camera as the two Masters glare at Vader.

Vader backs away a little more incase they changed their minds about using the lightning on him instead of each other.

"Well, um, go?"

Immediately both Masters of the Sith fire their Force bolts at each other. Blue lighting clashed with black and dark purple lightning. There was a small explosion as the opposing forces connected, blowing both Warious and Sidious to the ground backwards.

Warious sprang back to her feet and prepared to fire again. Sidious, still on the ground pointed at her and fired. Warious jumped and rolled out of the way giving Sidious time to recover and get up.

Both were at the ready in the next second and fired again. This time Warious combined her attack with a force shield to absorb her old master's lightning fueling it to her own and over powering Sidious defense.

Suddenly there was a giant Rancor in front of Master Sidious that sprang at Warious.

There was a streak of darkness and the Rancor disappeared. Warious immediately fired at Sidious again and, this time, hit him.

Vader's voice rang out, "Fowl on both sides for use of something other then lightning," but neither Master heard him and Sidious retaliated with his own blue lightning.

Warious seemed to have expected this because her force shield glimmered violet as blue lightning hit her straight on. Her own lightning turned completely black and grew larger reaching all the way through her master's defense and knocking him back into Saruman.

"Sidious is unconscious, Master Warious wins." Vader's voice announced sullenly.

Maul heaved a sigh of relief from behind the video camera. "Good. Now that that's over can we go home now?"

Warious glared at Maul and then nodded before stumbling out of the camera's range.

The Camera turns back to Maul. "Well I hope you enjoyed our Half Time show tune in to see more torture in Dark Lords next time."

o.o.o.o.o.

Maul: I want reviews! Give me Reviews! REVIEW!


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